So drunk, too bad you don't want this
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts