so that wasnt chicken after all
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit