I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
