Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+27): View more from South Africa

This girl is more easily done than said...

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(+27): This girl is more easily done than said... http://tfl.nu/38ha

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(702): View more from Nevada

can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt

(702): View more from Nevada

maybe shoes and water too

(702): View more from Nevada

oh and maybe a noose to hang myself

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(702): can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt (702): maybe shoes and water too (702): oh and maybe a noose to hang myself http://tfl.nu/qxrs

Replies (8) Good night (764) Bad night (2616)
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(214): View more from Texas

Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.

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(214): Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake. http://tfl.nu/8hx0

Replies (17) Good night (1045) Bad night (3720)
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(718): View more from New York

You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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(718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd

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(203): View more from Connecticut

walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!

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(203): walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!! http://tfl.nu/de92

Replies (33) Good night (702) Bad night (5350) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...

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(817): So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain... http://tfl.nu/gzma

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.

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(774): It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness. http://tfl.nu/e7ic

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(256): View more from Alabama

Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.

(228): View more from Mississippi

Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.

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(256): Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you. (228): Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it. http://tfl.nu/6bli

Replies (29) Good night (2000) Bad night (4273)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.

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(423): She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21. http://tfl.nu/keb8

Replies (6) Good night (4151) Bad night (622)
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(574): View more from Indiana

It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.

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(574): It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later. http://tfl.nu/qtru

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(607): View more from New York

I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

(1-607): View more from New York

Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

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(607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd

Replies (8) Good night (1738) Bad night (554)
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(425): View more from Washington

Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.

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(425): Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me. http://tfl.nu/5m5h

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?

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(787): I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now? http://tfl.nu/uqqo

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(850): View more from Florida

This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.

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(850): This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/j4m5

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(360): View more from Washington

So much rum. So many feels.

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(360): So much rum. So many feels. http://tfl.nu/mt6s

Replies (0) Good night (449) Bad night (131) Order T-Shirt

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