D3 body, D1 cock
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
This baby is an asshole
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.