It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can't turn off my feet"
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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