I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
