Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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