I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
