I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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