doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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