i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
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i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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