I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
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She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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