I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
foreskin is a definite game changer
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
