i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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