She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
