Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
