billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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