I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
