Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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