a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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