Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
