Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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