he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
