p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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