I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize