I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i think i have two assholes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
