can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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