Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
