Banned from zoo.
Again?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
