with your own penis?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
