I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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