Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
