Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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