In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Randomize
