hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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