North Korea, Best Korea!
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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