Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
