i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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