I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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