haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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