If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm always down for nudity.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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