I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
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