You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just want nice things and good sex
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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