Swine flu is the new snow day.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
