Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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