When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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