me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
