Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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