You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
