i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
