I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
