It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
