Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Quick, to the slutcave!
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
