drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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