Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
