I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
