I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
