i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Randomize
