I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
