we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
