she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize