I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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