and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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