I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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