Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
