i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
