If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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