During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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