I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
